His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
