Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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