so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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