Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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