I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
did you just send me my own nude
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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