Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize