Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
