I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
