Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
