watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
