Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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