The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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