I think scott just propositioned me for sex
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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