My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
