At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
