is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
