i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
