if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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