and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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