"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
