Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
