please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
