So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
