Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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