Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He did a backflip because drugs
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