the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
