You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
