Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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