I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
