Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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