Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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