Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
