We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How does one acquire holy water?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
