I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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