My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
