so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
