Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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