She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
