As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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