i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
