you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
