the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
