The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
