3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
