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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
