who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dicks are not precious.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
