I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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