I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
