Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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