yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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