i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
