She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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