____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize