do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
