her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
