But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
