Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
