Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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