I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
