He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
