Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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