I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The air taste purple.
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