So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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