I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
