you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
