Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
operation have a gay friend backfired
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize