Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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