Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
