he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
