Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
